Talk to Me Thursday: Let's Talk About Working Mom Guilt 🤍
This one has been on my heart for a few weeks, so grab your coffee (or your reheated-for-the-third-time coffee) and let's talk.
Getting back into the school routine has been harder than I expected. Not the packing lunches or the early alarms, though those are their own adventure. It's been hard on my relationship with L.
The weird, quiet house
For so long, my work-from-home days meant she was around. Now she's out of the house, and I'm home working without her.
It's such a hard and weird feeling. The house is quiet in a way I'm still getting used to. I'll look up from my laptop in the middle of the day and just... miss her.
And at the same time? It's kind of nice. I can focus. I can get through my to-do list and take a meeting without a little voice asking for a snack. 😅
Both of those things are true, and that's what makes it so confusing. You can love the quiet and miss the noise at the exact same time.
When the time together matters more
What this season has done is make the time we do have together feel so much more important.
The problem is, that time doesn't always line up with a clean end to my workday. She walks through the door ready to tell me everything, and I'm trying to wrap up one last meeting or finish one last email. I want to give her all of me, and sometimes I just can't in that moment.
That's the part that stings. I don't want her to remember a mom who was always "almost done."
So I'm working on it. Closing the laptop when I can. Putting the phone down at dinner. Saying "tell me everything" and meaning it. It's not perfect, but I'm trying.
The field trip that hit hard
Then we got the info about an upcoming field trip. And I can't go.
I have to be in the office that day, and I'm in charge of an employee engagement event. It's not something I can move or hand off. I know that. I also know it doesn't make it hurt any less.
There's something about seeing that permission slip and knowing I won't be there that just gets you right in the heart.
The bright side? My husband is going. 🤍 They're going to get some really sweet daddy-daughter time, and I'm so grateful for that. She'll have one of her people there with her, and I know she's going to have the best day.
But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little sad to be the one who's missing it.
What I'm reminding myself
If you're feeling this too, here's what I'm telling myself (and you):
Missing one moment doesn't erase all the others. I'm there for so much. One field trip doesn't define the kind of mom I am.
Showing up for my work is showing her something too. She's watching me work hard, keep my commitments, and build something I love.
It takes a village. Having a partner who can step in is a gift, not a failure on my part.
Guilt means you care. That heavy feeling is really just love that doesn't know where to go.
Make the next moment count. I can't be on that bus, but I can be the one asking all the questions at dinner that night.
Talk to me 🤍
Working moms, how do you handle the guilt when you can't be there? And for those of you who work from home, did the back-to-school quiet hit you as hard as it hit me?
Tell me in the comments. I'd love to hear I'm not the only one feeling this way.
xoxo,
Katie